Is Expired Milk Bad For You

STEP ONE I’m totally with you on being terrified of confrontation, but, unlike you, I have a national passive-aggressive forum to let people, such as my boss, know my feelings; feelings like, I want a raise and for people to stop looking me in the eye. Since you don’t have an advice column, here’s what you do: Hide your food. Not, like, under the couch or anything, but let’s say you have a box of delicious cookies that you want all for yourself. Well, you need to immediately eat a third of them (yay!). Then, pack the top of the box with something horrible, like fruit-flavoured coconut wafers or sugar-glazed cardboard. Nobody’s gonna dig around in there. For canned food, just switch the labels, so when the roomie opens up a can of refreshing peaches they get Campbell’s Chunky, “the soup that eats like a meal made with 0% peaches.”

STEP TWO Hiding stuff is all well and good, but there’s some things that can’t be easily hidden, like, say, milk or hot dog buns. So, it’s up to you to make those items as unappealing as possible. The easiest way to do this is with food colouring. Who’s going to chug your grey milk? What kind of desperate person is going to embed their wiener in a green-stained bun? If your roommate comments on the strange new discolouration of your food items, just tell this person that you’re on an all-natural organic diet and that this is what food looks like when it isn’t filtered through the processing fingers of “the Man.